Connection vs. Social Isolation

Most of us have heard that we are a social species. What does this really mean, and how does it affect us and our mental health in the long run? Should building stronger and healthier relationships with our loved ones and our peers be as high a priority as our careers, gym goals, and independence in our pursuit of a happy/healthy life? Research and personal experience have shown me that it should.

Many studies have shown how social isolation over a long period of time can have similar effects to smoking and can decrease one's lifespan by up to four years on average (Pantell et al., 2013). Aside from mortality rates, isolation has also been linked to higher rates of depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and other mental health disorders (Pantell et al., 2013). This information has been researched extensively, but culturally, we still strive for individuation. It’s common to fantasize and romanticize the ability to live alone, date here and there without the desire for marriage, and focus on career goals instead. This can still be done healthily if one includes a focus in one's life on social endeavors. A major barrier in our society towards connection is our focus on phones in and out of public settings. Research has shown that simply being able to connect with a stranger has led to increased health outcomes. However, the constant desire to cope in social situations by looking at and interacting with our phones closes opportunities for connecting with a person in line with you at the grocery store, the individual sitting next to you on public transportation, the other families that bring their children to the park where you bring yours, and many more. It's not uncommon to go out to eat and see other families on their phones throughout the entirety of their visit.

It will take intentional efforts to keep our phones in our pockets the next time we are in a social setting or simply sitting with our loved ones. However, it is a worthy pursuit of your individual sense of peace and fulfillment. Consider the amount of isolation in your life and add opportunities for connection. Some examples may include:

• Joining an exercise group to work towards fitness goals.
• Volunteering through a local organization or church to create new connections.
• Intentionally silencing your phone and leaving it in your pocket while having dinner or spending time with family members and encouraging them to do the same.
• Greeting strangers you meet during your daily activities and mentally noting how these interactions make you and them feel.
• Talk with customer service providers such as cashiers, waiters, and fast-food restaurant employees to see how their day is going.
• Intentionally create space in your life to talk with someone new and see where it takes you.

You never know who will inspire you, how you will affect another person's day or life, and what dramatic effects these simple practices can have on your physical and mental health. It is often the case for counselors to see individuals whose only source of connection is with their counselor. We are here for you and, if possible, will help you build healthy, stronger connections in your own life. Don't hesitate to reach out to us or a local mental health provider if you are currently dealing with and feeling the effects of social isolation.

References

Pantell, M., Rehkopf, D., Jutte, D., Leonard Syme, S., Balmes, J., & Adler, N. (2013). Social Isolation: A Predictor of Mortality Comparable to Traditional Clinical Risk Factors. American Journal of Public Health (1971), 103(11), 2056–2062. https://doi.org/10.2105/AJPH.2013.301261

Martin Dolan, Counseling Student

University of Houston, Clear lake

Taking the time to choose the right counselor is a great step towards your personal journey to mental health. I hope that by giving a little information about myself, you will have a better understanding of my beliefs and see if they align with yours.

I am a student counselor currently attending classes at the University of Houston – Clear Lake to become a licensed professional counselor (LPC). My wife and I have been happily together for 12 years and are parents to two young girls. Because of this, I understand the challenges involved in keeping and growing a committed relationship while understanding the intricacies of a complex family dynamic. I have always had an innate curiosity towards myself and others, what drives them, and how their experiences shape their perspective of the world. I believe that we are all simply trying our best to exist and thrive amongst each other and that relationships in our lives can help us progress towards our personal goals.

Personally, I have experienced the healing effects of group, individual, and couples counseling with difficulties regarding anxiety, depression, burnout, co-dependent relationships, grief/loss, and addiction. Having navigated these challenges, I have developed a greater understanding of the subtleties that come with each of them. I also believe that confronting generational trauma is a powerful way to gain awareness in one’s life and continue onward without passing it to future generations. Throughout my life, family, friends, and strangers alike have felt comfortable sharing their personal challenges with me. I believe that I can offer a calm and attentive space for you to do the same.

Together, we will uncover what is holding you back, what challenges are inhibiting you, and achieve your goals.