Unraveling Attachment: A Path to Overall Wellness

There's overwhelming empirical support for the fact that early experience is a powerful force in development. John Bowlby's attachment theory revolutionized our understanding of the initial connection between infants and caregivers. Attachment encompasses the deep and lasting emotional connection that develops between an infant and their primary caregiver(s), often beginning in infancy and persisting throughout life.

            Secure attachment provides emotional security, leading to healthier relationships, improved emotional regulation, enhanced social and cognitive development, increased resilience, better mental health outcomes, and fosters positive parent-child bonding, fostering emotional, social, and psychological growth. When we do not feel safe through our caregivers behavior and responses, we develop adaptive responses or adaptive behavior in order for body to protect.

            Studies have shown that early attachment experiences significantly impact brain development and emotional well-being. Positive interactions lead to better coping skills, mental health, and regulation of emotions (Schore, 2001). As a result we develop templates early in life, possibly even before we start speaking, and these templates influence our relationships. Subsequent experiences are often overlaid onto these templates. Additionally, developmental neuropsychologists have demonstrated that neglect and lack of attachment during early childhood may lead to a lack of the cortical organization needed for self-soothing and self-regulation. (Siegel, 1999). Conversely, neglect or lack of attachment can result in attachment wounds, affecting relationships, self-esteem, and emotional regulation. Evidently it has been seen that when primary care givers autonomous nervous system is stressed, kids autonomous nervous system gets stressed too. (Köhler-Dauner et al., 2022).

            When a child doesn't experience consistent care, emotional responsiveness, and a sense of safety from caregivers, it can result in attachment insecurities and difficulties forming healthy relationships later in life. 

            These attachment wounds can manifest in various ways, such as unhealthy behaviors, poor coping skills, fear of abandonment, difficulty trusting others, challenges in regulating emotions, and patterns of unhealthy relationship dynamics.

            Diane Poole Heller, an expert in attachment theory, describes attachment styles that align with those proposed by Mary Ainsworth and John Bowlby:

Secure Attachment

Comfortable with intimacy, trusts others, expresses emotions openly, seeks support.

 Insecure-Anxious Attachment

Craves intimacy, fears rejection, seeks validation, struggles with regulating emotions.

Insecure-Avoidant Attachment

Avoids close relationships, dismissive of emotions, prefers independence.

 Disorganized Attachment

Conflicting behaviors due to trauma, struggles with trust, emotions, and relationships.

            Attachment wounds can lead to increased susceptibility to stress, difficulty regulating emotions, dependency, feelings of abandonment, trust issues, defensive behaviors, self-judgment, self-sabotaging behaviors, increased activeness, struggle with boundaries, impulsive behaviors, social isolation, low self-esteem, sleep disturbances, withdrawal, attention issues, fear of intimacy, challenges in setting boundaries, and maladaptive coping behaviors such as addiction, self-harm, and disordered eating, depression, anxiety and so on.

Building emotional walls to shield ourselves from pain might have served a purpose growing up, offering temporary relief. But as we mature, these defenses can become counterproductive, limiting our ability to fully engage in life and find true happiness. Using distractions like work or activities to avoid tough emotions is like following a preset navigation system that doesn't promote emotional growth.

            Therapeutic intervention and healing can be beneficial for addressing unresolved attachment wounds, as these can manifest as various signs and symptoms.

Therapists offer a secure, empathetic, and non-judgmental environment for processing emotions, enabling healing at a comfortable pace without feeling burdensome or transactional as with friends or family. Mental health professionals specialize in trauma and inner healing, utilizing evidence-based techniques to identify patterns, foster clarity, develop healthy coping mechanisms, regulate emotions, cultivate secure relationships, enhance resilience, and empower individuals toward fulfilling journeys. Therapy, especially attachment-focused approaches like Attachment-based therapy or EMDR, can effectively address and heal attachment wounds.

            Secure attachment supports brain processes such as attunement, resonance, and pro-social aspects of neurobiology, fostering healthy connections. Therapists guide clients in recognizing patterns, creating new pathways, and unlearning established habits, harnessing the brain's neuroplasticity for healing and growth.

            Recognizing attachment's significance in human development and addressing attachment wounds through therapy are crucial for nurturing healthy relationships, emotional wellness, and personal development.

References

Bretherton, I. (1992). The origins of attachment theory: John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth.          Developmental Psychology, 28, 759-775. https://doi.org/10.1037/0012-1649.28.5.759

Siegel, Daniel J., 1957-. (1999). The developing mind : toward a neurobiology of interpersonal experience. New York: Guilford Press.

Schore, A. N. (2001). Effects of a secure attachment relationship on right brain development,     affect regulation, and infant mental health. Infant Mental Health Journal, 22, 7-66.   http://dx.doi.org/10.1002/1097-0355(200101/04)22:1<7::AID-IMHJ2>3.0.CO;2-N

Köhler-Dauner, F., Roder, E., Gulde, M., Mayer, I., Fegert, J. M., Ziegenhain, U., & Waller, C.     (2022). Maternal sensitivity modulates child's parasympathetic mode and buffers          sympathetic activity in a free play situation. Frontiers in Psychology, 13, 868848.             https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.868848

Polyvagal Institute. (n.d.). What is polyvagal theory. Retrieved from https://www.polyvagalinstitute.org/whatispolyvagaltheory

Trauma Solutions. (n.d.). About Diane Poole Heller. Retrieved from https://traumasolutions.com/about-diane-poole-heller/

Subaika H. Sayed, LPC-Associate

Supervised by Jamie Williams, LPC-S

We are unique in our own way, and so are our challenges. It takes immense courage to confront these challenges and start a journey towards self-care and better quality of life. With some guidance, support, the right resources, and skills training, one can surely get to their ‘Best-Self’ and manage life’s stressors better. I seek to meet you wherever you are in your journey, and intend to provide a safe, non-judgmental, empathetic, and accepting environment for your healing and growth. Authenticity and genuineness are what you can expect from me, which makes me easy to connect at a human level. My approach carries the essence of Humanistic theories and techniques which embodies empathetic understanding, congruence, unconditional positive regard towards the individual. At the same time, it is vital for me to design the right plan to meet the uniqueness of each individual’s needs and goals. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Solution-Focused Therapy, Mindfulness, and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills training are just a few techniques that I lean towards to support you in this journey.

I hold professional licensure as a Licensed Professional Counselor-Associate (LPC-A) in the state of Texas (# 90157) working under the supervision of Jamie Williams, LPC-S. I have received both my M.Ed. in Community Counseling and Bachelor of Science degree in Psychology from the University of Houston-Victoria, Texas. I also hold Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology and Political Science from the University of Lucknow, U.P., India.

In my clinical experience, I’ve had the opportunity to work with adults experiencing anxiety, depression and provided vocational counseling to adolescents. Further, I have worked with at risk children and adolescents who suffered from trauma, behavioral difficulties, mood disorders, ADHD, substance abuse, suicidal thoughts, grief, school adjustment problems, adjustment disorders, and self-esteem issues. I have facilitated Group therapies pertaining to Process, Social Skills, Life Skills, Substance Abuse, Vocational, Psychoeducational, Values, Gratitude, Cultural Diversity, & Relaxation/Mindfulness.

In my spare time I enjoy spending time with my family and friends, gardening, photography and reading.