What Your Preteen Needs from You: Straight from the Source
Navigating the preteen years can sometimes feel tumultuous, overwhelming, and confusing as our children begin to go through many changes. Being a preteen is like standing on the edge of childhood and adolescence. They’re trying to figure out who they are, where they fit in, and what it means to grow up. This period comes with a whirlwind of emotions, from excitement about new experiences to the anxiety of navigating the unknown.
When thinking about writing this blog, my first inclination was to provide some practical tips from the book On Becoming Preteen Wise: Parenting Your Child from Eight to Twelve Years. After giving it more thought, I decided it would be interesting to ask my preteen what suggestions he would give to parents entering the preteen years. I’ll give his thoughts here and then include some practical tips from the experts!
Straight from the Source – Advice from a 10-Year-Old
1. Give Us Attention: “Even though we’re getting older, we still want you to spend a lot of time with us.”
2. Keep an Eye on Us: “We don’t completely trust our abilities to make decisions and would still like your guidance.”
3. Have Realistic Expectations: “Just because we’re getting older doesn’t mean we are older. Please don’t push us to grow up too fast.”
4. Give Some Leeway: “Now that we are getting older, we would like more freedom to do some of the things other kids get to do.”
I thought these were wise words from a 10-year-old, and I learned a lot from that conversation! Let’s see what the professionals say about navigating the preteen years. On Becoming Preteen Wise provides valuable tips and strategies for parents to navigate the challenges of raising preteens. Here are some essential tips from the book:
- Effective Communication:
- Encourage open and honest communication with your preteen.
- Actively listen to their thoughts and concerns without judgment.
- Foster a safe and non-judgmental environment where they feel comfortable sharing their feelings.
- Balancing Independence and Boundaries:
- Involve your preteen in the decision-making process when setting rules and boundaries.
- Clearly communicate expectations while allowing room for age-appropriate independence.
- Explain the reasons behind rules to help them understand the importance of specific guidelines.
- Character Development:
- Focus on instilling virtues such as integrity, respect, and responsibility.
- Use everyday situations as opportunities for teaching and reinforcing positive character traits.
- Be a role model for the values you wish to instill in your preteen.
- Navigating Social Dynamics:
- Help preteens understand the dynamics of friendships, peer pressure, and social situations.
- Teach them to make wise choices and differentiate between positive and negative influences.
- Foster healthy social interactions and encourage positive peer relationships.
- Discipline with Purpose:
- Implement consistent and fair discipline strategies.
- Use discipline as an opportunity for growth and learning rather than punishment.
- Focus on teaching responsibility and accountability.
- Parental Involvement:
- Stay actively involved in your preteen's academic and social life.
- Attend school events and extracurricular activities and engage in their interests.
- Be present and available for emotional support during challenging times.
- Understanding the Preteen Mindset:
- Recognize and empathize with the emotional and physical changes your preteen is experiencing.
- Be patient and understanding during mood swings and moments of insecurity.
- Provide reassurance and encouragement to boost their self-esteem.
- Encourage Independence:
- Foster a sense of responsibility by involving preteens in age-appropriate tasks and decision-making.
- Allow them to take on more responsibilities at home and school.
- Guide them while letting them experience the consequences of their choices.
- Quality Time and Positive Reinforcement:
- Spend quality time together to strengthen your bond.
- Recognize and celebrate their achievements, no matter how small.
- Use positive reinforcement to encourage positive behavior and choices.
- Flexibility and Adaptability:
- Be flexible and adaptable to your preteen's changing needs and interests.
- Adjust your parenting approach as they grow and develop.
- Foster an environment where they feel supported in their journey toward adolescence.
Parenting a preteen is undoubtedly a challenging task but also an opportunity for growth and understanding. By approaching this phase with empathy, open communication, and a balance of independence and guidance, we can help our children transition smoothly into adolescence.
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I’m Krysta Williams, a Licensed Professional Counselor Associate, deeply committed to fostering emotional well-being and empowering individuals to lead fulfilling lives. I bring a compassionate and client-centered approach to my counseling practice.
I hold a Bachelor of Science in Biomedical Sciences from Texas A&M University and a Master of Arts (MA) degree in Counseling from Dallas Theological Seminary and have completed extensive training and supervised practice to become a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) Associate. Throughout my career, I have had the privilege of assisting clients from diverse backgrounds, facing various life struggles including anxiety, parenting issues, domestic violence, trauma, relationship struggles, and more.
In my personal life, I am a wife to a wonderful husband and the mother of three children who have been a constant source of joy, inspiration, and growth. My experience as a wife and parent has deepened my understanding of the complexities and joys of life, allowing me to empathize with the diverse experiences and challenges that many clients face.
I understand that each person’s journey is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution to personal growth. In our sessions, I tailor evidence-based therapeutic techniques to suit your specific needs, empowering you to embrace your strengths and cultivate the skills needed to navigate life’s challenges successfully.
Life can be unpredictable, and we all encounter moments of uncertainty, self-doubt, or emotional distress. As your counselor, I offer a safe, non-judgmental space where you can openly explore your thoughts and feelings. Together, we will delve into the underlying factors contributing to your challenges and work towards building a foundation of resilience and empowerment.
The decision to begin therapy can be an intimidating process which is why it is my top priority to make you feel comfortable and heard. It takes courage to seek help and invest in your well-being, and I am here to support you every step of the way. Let’s embark on this transformative journey together.
“In every crisis, there is an opportunity for growth, and I’m here to help you find that opportunity within yourself.”